Pap & Porridge Fast: Final reflections from Ann, board member, to the Fast Team

Dear Amazing Pap & Porridge Fast-Team members,

I had planned to write to all of your earlier today, but have been in ultra-s-l-o-w-m-o-t-i-on for the past 2 days, so am only getting round to it now that I’ve settled into bed with my laptop, my final meal of porridge rumbling away in my truly spoiled foodie stomach! I’ve been catching up on all your amazing blog posts and emails, and have been deeply inspired by all of you, for sticking with the fast, and for doing the kind of reflective work that makes these small sacrifices so powerful. We may not be able to change the world or upend the intersecting systems of oppression that cause poverty and hunger with small acts of solidarity like this, but if we can raise some money to help change the lives of just a few children – and put ourselves back in touch with the kind of reflective living, where we are able to step out of our own position in the world and try to wear, even for a short time, a position sharply different than ours, then it is well worth doing. I am so grateful that tomorrow morning I can walk to the fridge and choose anything I want to eat. I am also really grateful that there are so many amazing people in the CHOSA family that would do this.

As for the past couple of days on my side, I have to say it has been a lot tougher that I thought it would be. I did a 7-day Ayurvedic fast with some friends in October, and practically breezed through it, feeling better and better each day. But that was a ‘health restoration’ fast, complete with daily yoga, sesame oil self-massages, saunas, special teas and supplements, and most importantly, a complete protein meal which, though bland, included aromatic spices and vegetables. This, on the other hand, is truly a ‘health deprivation’ fast, and it really does focus one’s mind on the question of hunger and poverty in our world. We’ve all mentioned how weak and dizzy we were feeling by the end of Day 1, and most of us have had headaches. By lunchtime on Day 2 I was feeling dangerously dehydrated – despite drinking water – so I had to add some salt into my porridge. By suppertime yesterday, which got delayed because I was babysitting a friend’s child, I was really feeling the lack of protein, and succumbed to a hard-boiled egg. Despite these “cheats”, I felt so weak when I woke up today, Day 3, that I gave in to a glass of OJ with my porridge, and then still spent much of the day bumbling around in a brain-fog. Each time I tried to make these minor adjustments to offset my lack of wellness, I was forced to think about how unlikely it was that most of the people poor enough to subsist on this meagre diet would have that option (not to mention the hot shower, comfy bed, internet access, and even the ability to cook my porridge on a stove instead of having to forage for wood and start a fire to boil the bloody water!). Talking with my housemate as she looked on my bowl of white starch with some mixture of sympathy and pity, she reminded me of all of those horrible ‘disaster-porn’ videos of famine-torn regions, such as in Somalia most recently, where viewers are ‘reassured’ by the sight of humanitarian aid workers passing out bowls of some white starch or another. “At least they are getting some food, finally,” we sigh. But think about it: what they are getting – often after months of not eating anything at all and walking hundreds of miles in search of food or refuge – is a plain tasteless bowl of some kind of pap, porridge, or maybe white rice. Can you imagine trying to eat this to ‘recover’ from starvation? Wow!

Most of you have talked about the kids you worked with at Baph or Emasi, and have held your memories of these kids high in your mind through this fast, which is awesome and just how it should be. I never had the pleasure of volunteering with CHOSA in my time in SA, but I spent enough time with poor urban and rural communities to have lots of visions like that to hold in my mind the way you do the kids. But when I think of why it matters so much to engage in small acts of solidarity like this, even when we know the problem is so much bigger, I close my eyes and hold a few different visions in my head and try to think about how all of the problems those memories show me fit together – poverty, hunger, HIV/AIDS, vulnerable children, deadly famines, the climate change issues in focus now in Durban, (and Christina’s struggling pupils in the Ninth Ward keeps Katrina and all that implies in the forefront as well) – and I am reminded: those of us who are adults today will not be able to solve all of these problems in our lifetimes, so we need to make sure that next generation, the kids of today, have all the tools they need to hit the ground running. After a mere three days subsisting on the staple food of the whole of southern Africa, I can testify that these kids need a whole lot more than pap & porridge to feed their growing brains, bodies and hearts. Thanks so much to all of you for helping to make sure that a few of them will.

Enkosi!

Ann Eveleth, Washington, DC
Board Member, CHOSA

Visit www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge to support our fast with a donation to the work of CHOSA.

Pap & Porridge Fast: Day 3 Reflections from Jared, Co-Founder

Woke up this morning at 4:30am to the sound of 50 people getting ready for the COP17 civil society march (while the other 50 of us in the “Climate Change Refugee Camp” set up by Earthlife Africa tried our best to continue sleeping). I had slept only about five hours after what turned out to be a 27 hour bus ride. I feel very groggy and sore – though I am not sure if it is because of the fasting or because of all the traveling or both. I also woke up feeling a cold coming on really fast. Again, not sure if it was the lack of Vitamin C, the lack of sleep or the traveling.

Last night was very difficult for me as we arrived in Durban at 8pm and all the shops were closed so I could only eat what they served at the camp. I was craving tea but all they had was tap water for the thousand of us to share. For dinner, they served chicken curry with rice and since I could not get mealie meal or bread anywhere, I decided to have some plain rice which actually tasted quite nice compared to the bread – but was still not too filling. Still no tea though.

Today we’re going to march from Botha Park to the Durban Convention Centre. Then I’m going to visit a new project that CHOSA just just begun supporting in Richmond Farm. It is a creche (daycare centre) housed in two small shacks. It is run by the community with the support of the Abahlali baseMjondolo (shackdweller’s) movement. I’m excited to meet the community members again.

Think I’ll have enough energy for all this.

Good luck you all! Look forward to reading all your stories once I am able to have more regular access to internet.

Qina! Strength to you!

Jared Sacks, Durban, South Africa

Co-Founder, CHOSA

Pap & Porridge Fast: Day 3 Reflections from Christina, CHOSA Alum

Christina with her Baph students

I’m actually not hungry. Yesterday, there was longing. I was happy to get out of bed and scoop pap into a microwaveable container I could heat up before school started and on my little lunch break. I proudly toted the container through the hallway and smiled through the comments of “Eww” and “Are you just eating rice?” I got from my fellow elementary school teachers. I was pumped to remind them about my fast to raise money for the children of CHOSA, and even more thrilled to hear that some of them would be donating. By 5 pm, however, the headache and stomach-rumbling became almost unbearable, the pap almost completely unpalatable. Thanksgiving leftovers glared at me from the refrigerator. Chicken and sausage gumbo called my name from the cupboard, begging to be poured over the grit-sy looking makeshift pap. Visions of steak danced in my head. Feeling woozy and unable to work, I went to bed.

But today, I’m not hungry.  There’s no longing.  I have everything I’ve ever needed and more.  And as the fast goes on, my mind is full even though my stomach is empty of everything but tea.  (I actually really am not hungry—my taste buds are rebelling against pap until at least until morning, and my stomach is fine…  I get why the poorest South Africans eat this—cheap as dirt and keeps you full.  Headache and delayed mental functions persist.  Thank you, Microsoft Word, for Spell Check.)  No.  Today, I’m doing that cultural comparing exercise that’s inevitable if you choose to be critical and aware.  The image of the Baph children laughing and playing on the playground, entertaining themselves with puddles and empty bottles, taking care of each other and begging for more time practicing subtraction, has been at the forefront of my mind as I’ve gone to work these past two days.  As a reading interventionist for first, second, and third graders in New Orleans’ Ninth Ward, I work with some of the poorest and most disadvantaged children in our country.  In 2008, our students tested in the bottom 5% of all children nationwide.  They come to school at an oral language deficit, providing additional obstacles to their ability to read.  (Comparatively speaking, though, they enjoy the privilege of speaking English as their native tongue, the language with the highest “currency value” in the world.)  100 percent of our students are on the free-lunch program (thank goodness for it!  Two squares and a snack, guaranteed!), and 100 percent of my students are black.  Even our youngest girls have image issues due to abuse and neglect; our boys are extraordinarily angry and violent.  I work with the children who are the most behind and, for or because of that reason, tend to be the most volatile. New Orleans, for the wonderful city it is, falls prey to the microcosm effect… if you allow it to, it becomes the bubble beyond which you don’t see.  The day before starting my fast, however, I had one of those moments that refocuses your perspective: 

I was conferencing with Phil, a third grader two years behind in his reading and an unbearable behavior problem in his regular classroom environment.  Normally sullen, pugnacious, and fully disrespectful, a huge grin graced his face—we’ve been working at improving his reading comprehension, and he passed his test.  When I asked him what his motivation was to keep learning, he had no answer.  He didn’t understand the value of his education.  Desperate to keep the momentum going, I embarked on one of those “tough love” conversations—that third grade matters more that a boy could possibly understand right now; that, in this country, education can change outcomes; that even though Daddy was in jail, it doesn’t need to be Phil’s life, too; that the dirty truth is that the federal government uses third grade test scores to estimate how many jail cells will be needed in the future.  As fearful tears started to roll down his cheeks, I held his hand and let him know that school is the difference, and he’d shown that yes, he can succeed.  The words, however, that truly made the difference: “What a wonderful opportunity that you get to go to school.  Some children in our world don’t have that.”  Khayelitsha sprung before my eyes in all its squalored but proud glory.  The children of CHOSA blessedly receive education, shelter, food, medicine, a warm bed… love.  There are so many more who have much, much less.  As Phil walked out of my room, having pinky-promised to keep his mouth and fists in check, reading certificate in hand, his head held high, his request for more books made, I couldn’t stop thinking about how different our nation’s poor are from those in South Africa.

It goes without saying that in the US, even the poorest Americans live like royalty compared to the children and families we fast for.  We forget our basic blessings which we did nothing much to deserve, given to us by the happenstance of our birth.  The children of CHOSA are serving to remind me of that right now.  Their immutable joy in the face of adversity still leaves me awestruck.  The passion and humanity of the people who saw children in need and answered the call to give them the basic human rights they deserve warrant more than the word “inspiring.”  It’s a reminder to us all to celebrate even the smallest things, but to also to take our blessings and put them to work.  I’m honored to be part of the fast and am fired up for this last day—it’ll be spent watching the videos Alma posted in her blog, putting up my pictures of the Baph kids as my screensaver, harassing everyone I know for donations, and engineering yet another plan to get Phil and the rest of my students on track for the rest of their incredible educational careers.  After all… what’s really stopping them?

Christina Grayson, New Orleans, LA

CHOSA Alum, Baphumelele

Support Christina in her fast by pledging a donation to CHOSA at www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge!

Pap & Porridge Fast: Final reflections from Brittanie, CHOSA Supporter

Brittanie with her Art for Africa children

As I sit here typing, frequently taking short breaks to scoop small portions of make-shift porridge into my mouth my heart and my mind are so full. These three days have really been eye opening and challenging for me. Last year I worked in a township called Cross Roads in Cape Town, South Africa as a missionary and the year before that served in Durban and Pietermaritzburg. During these experiences I was confronted with poverty and hunger everyday and it became a part of my everyday life. Therefore I was sensitive to it, it was real for me. I had an urgency in my heart that said this must end now! But I have been home in the States for almost a year now and only during this fast did I realize how far from my heart the poor and the hungry have actually become recently. Sadly, “the children of South Africa” and “the poor” have become phrases and people groups that I mention in prayer daily, but they have become more of just words I say than actual people with that all too recognizable longing in their eyes who are captive to hunger pangs, fatigue, inability to concentrate and the other consequences of hunger. They have become a group of people I reference in my mind instead of individuals who have captured my heart. This fast has caused me to remember their faces and the sound of their laughter and the love that pours forth from their hugs. Its also caused me to remember the desperate look on their faces each time I brought bread for them, the conversations about when the last time they had a meal was, and visiting their homes (usually tiny tin shacks) and staring at the empty cupoards and once again it has broken my heart. As I look over at the white tasteless goo that my tongue is so adamantly protesting against I think of my little precious ones in SA and remember them joyfully stuffing pap, or bread, or fruit or whatever I brought them into their mouths, down their throats, and quickly into their empty tummies. The thought about whether or not this is what they wanted to eat wasn’t even a question. The simple fact was they were hungry so they ate what was there, and they did so thankfully and joyfully.

I pray that memory never becomes filed away in my brain in the category of “things I just don’t think about” again. I pray that even tomorrow morning when I wake up and open my cupboard and choose out of my abundance which things I want to eat for breakfast that my heart stays where it is now- with my children, with all the children in South Africa and the nations of the world where the Pap and Porridge Fast is an everyday reality instead of a three day venture. I pray that my attitude towards food remains a thankful one instead of one of complacency and lack of appreciation. I want to be more like my children- joyful and overflowing with love even in the seemingly most hopeless situations.

I am so grateful to have been able to share in this experience and stand in solidarity with these precious ones. It brings my heart joy to know that organizations like CHOSA are working hard to make hunger in this beautiful nation a thing of the past. I’m excited for the great things God has for this nation, for CHOSA, and for the precious children they serve. May we stand alongside them and support them not only during these three days but throught the year as we are able. God bless,

Brittanie Richardson, Atlanta, GA

Founder, Art for Africa and CHOSA Supporter

Pap & Porridge Fast: Day 2 Reflections from CHOSA Alum Katy

This being my first fast is well worth every moment. I’m not a picky eater- I swear. But, I hate grits, cream of wheat, and polenta- again, I swear I’m not a picky eater. Sticking to eating only pap and porridge has been harder than I thought, not only do I not like the consistency, but I am currently interning in NYC- the hardest place to NOT eat. Every time I’m outside I am tempted by the smells coming from the carts and the coffee stores. I’m not sure what is worse right now my hunger, or my caffeine withdrawal- as a junior in college I THRIVE and SURVIVE on coffee- but maybe this is just the place to get my addiction under control. During the day I find myself getting very weak with a bad headache. It’s a known thing between my older sister and I that when we are really hungry are hands won’t stop shaking- we will hold them out straight and our fingers will literally be in a spasm. I have to say- I have had a protein drink during the day as I literally feel as though I may pass out.

I just got back from studying and volunteering in Cape Town about 2 weeks ago- can I go back now?- I’m sure most of you [CHOSA alums] feel the same. While in Cape Town I volunteered at Baph, teaching nine 7 year olds with two other colleagues. Those kids not only touched my heart, but they now hold a permanent spot in it. They have impacted my life so much, and I am so thankful for the experience. Everyday I think about them, what will their life come to, will the remember me, did I make an impact on their life…most significantly I remember and reflect on the look in their eyes and I wonder how could anyone not love these children.

The epidemic of AIDS in Africa is an on-going crisis. But I feel like it should not be looked at like that- it is a current crisis, a crisis that is affecting innocent children and families. A curable disease that leaves so many dead, homeless, and orphaned in its wake. This fast is the least I can do, to try and do, to stand up and act though I am so far away. I stand in solidarity, Giving Hope to the Children of South Africa- to my children at Baph and to the millions more that will continue to be affected by this.

Katy Flick, New York, NY
CHOSA Alum, Baphumelele

Support Katy in her fast by pledging a donation to CHOSA at www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge!

Pap & Porridge Fast: Reflections from Activist Pastor Xola Skosana

During the month of September, a prominent activist in Cape Town, Pastor Xola Skosana, embarked on a 30-day hunger strike to protest a host of injustices: extreme poverty, racial discrimination, unemployment, corruption and exploitation, among others. He has made headlines internationally for his strong stances against injustice over the years, and during his hunger strike he journaled daily. Below is an excerpt from Day 14 of his fast, which echoes beautifully the spirit behind not only our Pap and Porridge Fast, but the work of CHOSA as a whole:

This morning I found myself thinking about the number of meals I would have eaten this month, a whooping ninety, three meals a day. My favorite meat of the morning is a bowl of Oates which my wife prepares every morning for the four year old who goes to preschool. Thankfully there’s always enough left for me. I never thought I could face a day without it, but I have, fourteen to be precise.

Next is lunch, I never leave home in the morning without my lunch box. In the last six months I have downgraded to four slices of bread from six. My sandwich varies from tuna, to chicken, to egg, to polony and every once in a while, left overs from the previous night. Without fail I would have this with a cup of coffee at the office. Nine out of ten times I have some fruit, either an apple or a pear with me

My next meal of the day is always the best meal. Amongst many other gifts, my wife is a great cook. She serves dinner with passion and always adds a little bit of herself in it. I would have to kill you if I tell you what that is, she keeps her recipe a secret.

I consider myself privileged, three meals a day, everyday. What is more of an honor for me though is the opportunity I have this month, to give that all up in solidarity with the poor of our country who do not know where the next meal will come from. I may not know fully what that means, but the hunger pains and starvation I have voluntarily taken upon myself will hopefully teach me a little bit of the poverty experienced by countless others in this world.

When I will have gone back to my three meals a day, coffee and fruit, I hope I will have been transformed in the manner I relate to the weak and excluded in our society. More importantly, I hope my resolve to fight for justice and human dignity would have been strengthened.

My four year old keeps asking me why am I not eating and my wife and I keep telling her that that I am praying. Now I realize that I have missed the opportunity to tell her about the poor in our society who do not have food to eat and the need for us to share their pain. Hopefully it’s not too late to have that conversation with her.

Pastor Xola Skosana, Cape Town, SA

Support our fast by pledging a donation to CHOSA at www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge!

Pap & Porridge Fast: Reflections from Alma Anides, Baph Alum

I woke up this morning feeling pretty motivated and mentally prepared to embark on the challenge. Remembering my awesome kids at Baph and the joy they inspired in me every time I saw their smiling faces, encouraged me to do this very very small act of love and solidarity towards them.  I happily ate my morning bowl of “wanabe” pap but the last two spoonfuls were a hard swallow.  I disregarded this and thought that as long as I felt full I would be fine.  As the day progressed I found myself going towards the kitchen for a snack or a chocolate break, until I remembered I didn’t have that luxury.  When we live such a spoiled life style we forget all the comforts that we have, even comfort foods.  It was a sacrifice to walk away from the Halloween candy bucket or sit at the dinner table with a steaming bowl of grits while my mom enjoyed some crispy juicy chicken (even as I remember this my mouth has started to water).  I ignored my craving and rushed off to the house of the kid I tutor. 

While we were doing his math homework, he pulled out a chocolate chip cookie from his pocket and started munching on it.  I stopped what I was doing and jumped on him while I reached out for the cookie before it hit his mouth… of course, this out of control impulsiveness only occurred in my head, but I was surprised that such thought would even come to mind. 

When I got back home I was in a pretty cranky mood with a creeping headache.  I confess I had to cheat and added milk and honey to my grits to add some sort of consistency.  I have never been a fan of grits, it was the only part I didn’t eat of my Waffle House breakfast, so I was surprised that I thoroughly enjoyed pap with my meat in South Africa.  Grits, however, cannot compare to pap but it is the closest thing we have to it in the U.S. 

My family and friends are still having trouble comprehending why I am doing such an eccentric fast.  Perhaps they do not see much value but personally these past 24 hours have provoked all sorts of feelings.  It has brought back flashing memories of the babies in Baph with dried pap all over their face, of sissies stirring big aluminum pots of pap for dinner.  It reminded me of those whose only meal is pap and they have to share their small portion with the younger siblings.  If having three big bowls of grits three times a day makes me feel exasperated and dizzy, how would I feel if I cut that ration in half, subtract my car and comfy bed and added a whole lot of walking and survival mode? 

I am grateful, so much more grateful, to be able to see my little brother reach out for a banana when he’s hungry.  To know he can do that and does not have to feel a rumble in his stomach.  I also feel so inspired and honored to be doing this minimal sacrifice with our fasting team. Some of them I have never met, but I share a special love for the kids back in Khayelitsha and a belief for a healthier life for all.  From the emails I read today, I see we are all manifesting this belief in our own way and have agreed to come together in this shared consciousness.  I was very pleased to read Ellie’s report of the donations made thus far, it definitely adds fire to our effort.  But most importantly, this pap and porridge fast will feed our spirit to keep our cause alive regardless.

I have uploaded three videos on youtube from Freedom Day at Baph.  You can search for them as CHOSA kids @ Baph (1), (2) and (3) or find them at the link below.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!   

Alma Anides, San Diego, CA

CHOSA Alum, Baphumelele

Support Alma in her fast by pledging a donation to CHOSA at www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge!

Pap & Porridge: Day One Reflections from Ellie

Ellie and Nomvula

Day one of our fast is nearly complete, and it has definitely been a thought-provoking experience thus far! A large part of today was spent running some errands for my CHOSA-related duties: getting our year-end newsletter mailed out, etc. I was having some major cravings throughout the day, but living in this momentary lack while doing my daily tasks associated with CHOSA gave me such a deep sense of purpose. Our fast helped me to remember that there is something so much higher that we are working towards together, and that even the seemingly menial tasks are contributing towards a greater good. It really changed the way I looked at my entire day.

I was quite hungry by the time I ate my first bowl of porridge, as I had skipped breakfast, and despite the bland flavor I found myself scraping the bowl to get every last bit! This small moment really got me thinking: if I can be this hungry after missing one meal, imagine the countless children who eat only one small serving of pap a day. I am overwhelmed with gratitude, and am reminded of a conversation I had with my mother shortly after beginning work at a wonderful organization in Mpumalanga, South Africa. I mentioned to her that the organization aims to provide (among other things) “a meal a day” for the most vulnerable children in rural communities. My mom was shocked by this, and for good reason – most of us in the United States, even in the poorest communities here, cannot imagine having access to only one meal a day. However, this is a stark reality in the communities we serve, particularly for orphans and other vulnerable children that lack the provision that a parental figure can bring.

An image that kept flashing through my head today was that of my “host sister,” Nomvula, whom I lived with for a long weekend in a village in Mpumalanga last year. She was 15 years old and living in a one-room home with three younger relatives – what we call a “child-headed household.” I will never forget my first night there. I had brought some basic groceries with me (mealie meal, beans, bread, peanut butter) so that I wouldn’t be a burden, and Nomvula set about to cooking our meal over a fire. She handed me a plate with a serving of pap and a few pilchards (sardines) from a can, and then sat down next to me. I was confused, as there was a significant language barrier and I didn’t know how to ask her, “what about your dinner?” Then, she reached over to the plate I was holding and began to eat. The two of us sat on a bench, her only furniture, and shared this small plate for the evening. My heart broke to realize the deep level of food insecurity that children in these communities experience – that even with the food I’d brought, she had to carefully ration each bit, not knowing when she’d have access to more. I am so grateful to organizations like CHOSA, and the many community-based efforts we support on the ground in South Africa, to ensure that children in these desperate situations are “fed” in body, mind, and spirit. May we remember how blessed we really are, and may we feel challenged to do our part to ensure that on a global scale, every precious child has access to these most basic necessities.

Ellie Gunderson
Fundraising Coordinator, CHOSA

Support Ellie in her fast by pledging a donation to CHOSA at www.razoo.com/story/papandporridge!